I am not even moving that far, about 8 miles according to Googlemaps so it is not as if I won't be visiting all the time. What hit me was that I will be leaving a lot of things behind; figuratively and literally. Over the weekend I was clearing out my wardrobe which is always a challenge. Previous attempts of clearing things out have left me lighter of maybe a Tesco's plastic bag worth of things that were at the extremes of me never ever wearing them again, keeping items I am indifferent about, or that may need altering but had "potential" and things I had not worn for years but were still "kinda cute". This time round I had to be ruthless, you see I am moving into a pretty small studio with the husband to be and we have to be economic with storage. Three bin bags, and a box later my wardrobe had been downsized. It was sad as I forced myself to say goodbye to the party girl me as I parted with my numerous short body con dresses. I said goodbye to my wannabe American Apparel model phase as my thighs would never fit in those high waist hot pants I had; worst of all I decided to give away my numerous wearable, but not really sell-able The Bamboo District clothes I had tried to build an empire with back in 2011. This was especially sad as it reminded me of a time when I had a real fire to design clothes that I just don't have anymore, it sucked even more as I came across all my old sketches and the things I wanted to make but didn't get round to making are items that are rife on sites like ASOS and Topshop in their recent collections.
What I didn't like when I was clearing things out were how much of a hoarder I am, and pretty wasteful too. I had bought lot's of things over the years and used initially and then left them to the side when over it. There was a whole box of old felt tip pens that I can't even remember I owned. They looked brand new BUT THEY DRIED OUT! Art pens are not cheap...I dread to think the money I have wasted.
It isn't all sadness and woefulness though. I feel quite liberated to be free of things that I actually do not need. It does not mean I have completely chucked everything out. I still have a nicely streamlined collection of sketchbooks that can be filled with my water colour pens, my favourite magazines that will still be with me in the new place, my sewing machine and fabric to make my giant cushions with and a superbly curated wardrobe that just screams me whatever I put on. I used to like to dress like different personas, like cheerleader chic, hippie girls etc but with my more limited collection I can be Natalie with a hint of cheerleader, Natalie who is semi hippie. My favourite character to play is me...and Solange Knowles!
I hope that my wasteful nature and hoarding ways do not follow me through to my marriage and my new home. I just need to keep an eye on that and pray that I won't be greedy. Though I mourn the past me, I am really excited to see what the future Wifey me will be like and what fun projects I will be involved with, and stick with. Here's to then!